Let's be honest gals and gays: I AM a massive bitch. I force myself into situations and neither take nor give quarter when crossed (please see a coworker's parole officer and his anonymous call logs for proof.)
Why am I this way? Simply because it works. I get what I want and I have a fabulous circle of friends and family that always back me.
Want to be like me? You can't, but here's some tips for getting close to my glamor.
1) Freaking dress well! No one will respect or fear a sloppy person. Be fashion forward or a hipster, I don't care; just wear well fitting, well made clothing, have good accessories, and match! Dear God, please just fucking match.
2) Invest in good, dark, LARGE sunglasses. They inherently say, "I'm better than you." and give you "bitch face" without actually having to have bitch face
3) Have a "bitch face." Bitch face is a look that conveys disdain, superiority, and bored amusement. It will infuriate and intimidate the weaker willed.
4) Know when to bow out. A bitch take the world by storm but a bitch also knows when he or she is in over his or her heard or faced with a bigger bitch. Learn to back down with grace and poise.
5) Have grace and poise. Learn to walk with confidence, not arrogance. Greet people with enthusiasm and be kind to strangers. A good bitch never causes or creates conflict. He or she just wins when the conflict arises.
6) Examen your peer group and social circle. A bitch can mingle with all levels and layers of society, but you are who you cavort with. There's no advice to gaining admittance to good social groups, just be the person you want to be and friends will find you. Never sacrifice yourself for the sake of temporary friends. A bitch would never be that weak.
Really, just be confident, be forward, be strong, and be yourself. If other's don't like you, well it really does suck to suck.
Love,
jSe
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